Zooey Deschanel, the 35-year-old actress who stars in New Girl, has apparently converted to Judaism.
Deschanel has never identified with any faith in the past - her mother is Roman Catholic and her father is Quaker - and has previously said: “I don’t attach myself to any one religion. My family is liberal. I was raised in the ‘you can be whatever you want’ kind of way. And in the end, I was like, ‘Eh.’”
But now US Weekly has revealed that she does associate with one religion, after converting to Judaism before marrying her husband Jacob Pechenik. The couple have a three-month-old daughter together, Elsie Otter.
If true, Deschanel is not alone. Though many people change religions for a diverse range of reasons, one of the most common is love.
For some, it ends well. They connect to their new religion, and their faith does not waver – even if their relationship does. But for others, their conversion is nothing more than a piece of paper, and can even become something they regret.
I’ve spoken to three women who each have difference experiences of converting to a different religion – the only thing they have in common is that their decision was influenced by love.
Here are their stories.
'I never felt the need to uncovert after our divorce'
Hannah Martin, 43
"I was raised in the Church of England; christened and confirmed. But in my late teens and twenties I decided I didn’t really believe in anything.
Then, when I was 28, I went travelling and met a man in the Indonesian jungle. He was barefoot like Tarzan. We spent two weeks together, and I soon went back to see him for another two months. We decided to get married.
I was relatively clear with him that I didn’t have any religious beliefs. But it was important for his family, who were from a staunch matrilineal Muslim tribe, that I was Muslim in name. I agreed to convert and was clear with him at the time that I was accepting Islam for his name only.
We married on September 15, 2001 in England, where we’d decided to live so I could be near my family. I had to convert before we wed, so two days after 9/11 we went to a mosque. At the time there was a lot of fear around the religion. I could see the Imam thinking 'are you crazy?'
But from an intellectual point of view, I actually thought Islam was really interesting and wanted to learn more. I really enjoyed festivals like Ramadan, and started to enjoy the religion.
But after we’d been in England for a while, my husband started to cling on to his religion more than he had when we’d met. He told me I should walk 10 paces behind him, and I shouldn’t eat pork. He would pick and choose to be religious when it suited him.
I was working in advertising in Brighton, while he did a number of odd jobs. We’d occasionally go back to his Indonesian village to see his family and I was respectful. But we had a lot of issues. When I was pregnant, he announced that he wanted to circumcise the child – no matter what sex it was. His family used to talk about circumcising me too, which made me terrified.
Thankfully we had a baby boy and divorced before he was able to go through with the circumsion. The cultural differences were just too much for us, and though we have a 12-year-old son together now, they don’t have any contact.
I never ‘unconverted’ from Islam because I didn’t feel it was a significant thing for me. In my mind there’s no god - that’s why I was able to convert and not feel the need to officially revert. I’ve just carried on as I did before".
Hannah Martin is the co-founder of mums' group Talented Ladies Club.
'I felt like a tourist in Judaism'
Julie Gray, 51
"I grew up in the US and always felt I didn’t have a strong identity. My fiancé was Jewish but not very observant. He was more ethnically Jewish than religious - so when he asked me to convert he surprised himself too.
But it was the tradition in his family - if you married someone non-Jewish, it mattered.
I agreed to convert to Reform Judaism. I knew that if we had children and I didn’t convert they wouldn’t be seen as Jewish. I didn’t want them to be denied a religious narrative that spans thousands of years.
For several years after I converted, I didn’t really care. I’d go to synagogue but it didn’t really sink in. We had two kids together - and they learnt Hebrew and had their bar and bat mitzvahs. But I always felt like a tourist in the religion.
I didn’t really start living the Jewish life until I got divorced 10 years ago, after 17 years of marriage. Suddenly I wasn’t celebrating Jewish holidays with my ex-husband and I felt lost. I started to experiment with being Jewish on my own. I’d light the Shabbat candles and slowly, for the first time, I realised there was more to the religion than culture, food and traditions – there was wisdom in it.
I went to visit a friend in Israel and the minute I got off the plane I felt at home. I relocated there myself in 2012. I’m much more observant now then I was before my divorce, mainly because of the critical mass of Jews here. Even though most Israelis are secular, they still celebrate the holidays.
Now I’m absolutely Jewish and can say that converting to Judaism was the best thing I did - even though it took me years (and a divorce) to see that".
Julie Gray is writing her third book Israel the Musical, and runs peace initiative Truth & Beauty.
'I'm more religious than my husband'
Zara Gluch, 30
"I’m originally from Poland, where Islam is something people don’t talk about or even tolerate. I used to think it was a bad thing. My friend once had a Muslim boyfriend and I remember saying to my mum, 'I would never go out with a Muslim man – I would never change my religion'.
But then I came to England when I was 20 and met my boyfriend. He’s a British Muslim and used to speak to me about the religion.
I was raised as a Christian but never felt very connected to it – it was just something I was born into. But I started to feel a connection with Islam. He never asked me to convert - but the more I learnt and understood, the more I wanted to. So I changed my religion around the same time we got married.
My family were quite upset at the beginning but they’re OK with it now. They tolerate it and I’m very happy being Muslim. I off started wearing a loose headscarf and then turned it into a proper hijab. I wear the hijab. As a Muslim I feel it’s my responsibility to cover myself.
My husband thought I shouldn't and worried that I wouldn't be able to keep it up - but I have and he’s proud of me. Now I’m actually more religious than him. He says I have more Islamic knowledge than he does, because I keep studying it. I want to know everything. Once you become Muslim, you want to find out as much as you can and dig into it. I believe you try harder.
We have a son and daughter together and one my biggest goals in my life is to make them good Muslims and teach them Islam the right way. I believe Islam is the religion I was meant to have – I was lost without it".
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